Today I woke up, jumped out of bed (crawled) and made myself an espresso. Packed my gear up and headed back into work. For those of you that don't know I'm on an "Olympic Rota" this pretty much means I have no life, work every weekend, get random days off. Needless to say my fragile mental state is teetering on the edge of full scaled spontaneous combustion taking everyone I work with to the grave with me. Deliberately.
Rolled into work after listening to the deranged ramblings of one of Mike Patton's "side projects" that should give you an indication of the amount of eye twitching and Tourette's car driving I suffered on the way to work. I actually embodied the spirit of Danny Dyer at one point and called someone a faaaaaakin mug for cutting me up on the A406. Oh dear.
I got into work and it was the usual stuff after a couple of days off, boss moaning about how many emails they had to reply to. Angry woman screaming at her terminal for some reason no one could decipher. The office weirdo taking a 15 minute shit and mumbling while doing the Brad Pitt 12 Monkeys crazy hand thing (true story)
I could feel the gamma radiation on me start to go a bit haywire but practiced some deep breathing methods taught to me during some PowerPoint presentation at work. To eliminate anyone in our "corporation" ever going sick with stress again... You are stressed? oh but we taught you a method of dealing with it.
Well played.
I was given a particular issue to deal with at work that wasn't as cut and dry as first thought when this was raised I got a "Mmm" from the boss who didn't even look up. I think at this point my sleeves ripped or my eyes went green or some shit like that. I just swallowed and got out.
Two hours later and I'm in the middle of a full scale hulkathon attack, in my world I've HULK SMASHED my office, all my gear and in some psychic or computer aided thingy mah jigg I've destroyed all company policy and eaton the RED TAPE that stops us all doing our jobs!
Ok a few hours have passed and I seem to feel normal again.. WOAH wait a second, what the hell is this? Traffic? Why? Why are you doing this to me Wednesday?
HULK SMASH AGAIN!
I've realised just how ridiculous my blog has become and for that I can only apologise. I would like to promise you that normal service will resume, chances are that's a lie.
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