Saturday 28 July 2012

Me as best man? (Speech included)

No mate we're not going to do speeches at the wedding.
The exact words said to me about ten times by the groom. I started to think that he was nervous and didn't want me to write a speech. Why wouldn't there be speeches at a wedding?
The night before the wedding I decided I should write one just in case, it was lucky I did because funnily enough after dinner the father of the bride stood up and gave his speech then they all turned and looked at me.. Oh shit! this speech I wrote took about ten minutes and I was pissing myself laughing at it as I googled speeches and just took some various bits and bobs out of them all.
So I stood up and delivered my speech and it went like this..
I'll take out the names and just change them to bride and groom to protect everyone involved.

Sunday 15 July 2012

The stag do part 2.

So I guess you already know that stag#3 didn't leave he just packed his stuff up and went and slept in his car, I'm currently in the car with him driving home and seemingly he's either forgotten about it or is too embarrassed to mention the meltdown. For the "activity" part if the day we went tank driving which involved dressing up in army boiler suits, hilarious for me as I'm a small man and got lost in the sleeve. Stick a helmet on top of us and throw us in the back of a massive tank and hey presto everyone almost threw up. As far as tank driving goes it wasn't as exciting as it sounds. You drive a tank around a field. Big whoop.

Saturday 14 July 2012

The actual stag do. Friday Night.

Ok so it's saturday morning and I'm writing this seriously hung over, last night was brilliant, hilarious and all you would expect. First we went to Hooters where they plied us with disgusting fried chicken until we all felt sick and we paid £35 to have the stag humiliated. They stuck a hooters outfit on him (he's a big lad) made him do some exercises (which was hilarious, he's a lazy big lad) then just pretty much humiliated him.
We went and found the club that we where meant to be going to with free champagne and queue jump only to find it was closed for flood damage. Brilliant.

Wednesday 11 July 2012

The fabled stag do.

This weekend I go away on ANOTHER stag do, this time we opted for Nottingham, but have previously been Newcastle, Blackpool, etc etc. It seems about every six months someone else is getting married and wants to go away on a stag do an they always invite me. Everyone's favourite pisshead? Who knows.
The main difference this time is that I'm the best man so there is an expectation on me to be a little wilder and to give the stag "tasks" to do or maybe tie him up and we can all bum him or some other jovial and hilarious jokey thing. As far as organising this it was fairly painless everyone paid up and no one has given me any drama... Yet.

Tuesday 3 July 2012

The Amazing Spiderman the good and bad

Last night I managed to catch up with The Amazing Spiderman - the reboot that didn't really need to be made but was anyway here I'll run through my good and bad points I'll try to keep it spoiler free.
The good.
Andrew Garfield is already a better Spiderman than Tobey Maguire was, he's got the socially awkward lost for words as Peter Parker down brilliantly he also shows flashes of charisma that we never really got before with Maguire. As Spiderman his wise cracks sound just as I imagined them to be as a kid reading the comics his delivery of the one liners and his lanky expressions when suited up are hilarious.
Emma Stone as Gwen Stacey is brilliant and the chemistry between her and Garfield is easy to see, probably because it's real chemistry. I read they are still dating out in the real world (lucky boy)
The bad
Other than the lead roles everything else isn't so good. If this was the first Spiderman then I would be ranting about how brilliant it is. It isn't and it all feels samey, not a familiar feeling that sets us at ease more of a oh look it's Spiderman swinging on a web in front of the buildings, yep he's still swinging, oh for gods sake he could of walked it quicker. You know what would be good? a slow motion swing past the windows. Sheesh enough already.
If something's a reboot do we really need half the film to be an origins story? It all looked very slick but there's about half an hour of unnecessary build up. Just let the spider bite him already.
The Lizard. What can I say about the lizard? They've definitely helped him up his game I mentioned earlier about Spideys trademark wisecracks being spot on and in the Lizard we had a baddie who could of been ridiculed relentlessly while trying to grab spidey yet we only got a bit here and there. Another issue would be with the cgi. When The Lizard is speaking it already looks dated, growly, not in sync, definitely wont stand the test of time.
The music in this film really ruined it for me. Music can make a film but rarely does it break it. Unfortunately in this film the latter is true. It's like they've taken a music score from a cheesy 80's film and just played it over certain parts. Absolutely dire.
While I didn't hate this movie I didn't love it either there was some really good moments and Garfield makes a very convincing spidey but it just wasn't enough I left the cinema and felt a bit "meh"