The actual stag do. Friday Night.

Ok so it's saturday morning and I'm writing this seriously hung over, last night was brilliant, hilarious and all you would expect. First we went to Hooters where they plied us with disgusting fried chicken until we all felt sick and we paid £35 to have the stag humiliated. They stuck a hooters outfit on him (he's a big lad) made him do some exercises (which was hilarious, he's a lazy big lad) then just pretty much humiliated him.
We went and found the club that we where meant to be going to with free champagne and queue jump only to find it was closed for flood damage. Brilliant.

The town of Nottingham looked a bit bleak at this point. We didn't see a person for about 10 minutes but it was ok we eventually got to the town and found a 80's bar, this produced a lot of excited squeals from some of the lads and some unhappy groans from the others. We decided to only drink from our left hands and if caught the punishment was a shot. We all did a lot of shots.
We drank.
We danced.
We drank some more.
We danced on a rotating dancefloor.
I got off for a bit because I felt sick.
Then someone farted and it all kicked off. One of the guys.. Let's call him stag#3 for anonymity purposes pointed at me and laughed a few times do I politely told him "that wasn't me, stop fucking pointing at me people will think that smelly shit was me" to which he threw his arms in the air and threw a bitch fit. I just ignored him because he does this a lot.
The guy is actually sharing a room with me because I'm the most low drama and unlikely to row with him. LOL.
He went and spoke to stag #4 who is a sensitive soul who was thoroughly upset by the whole situation because stag #3 was being a drunk fuckwit. So we all carried on dancing and ignored him.
Then I lost a fucking button off of my Topman LTD chino's. This weekend is a travesty.
So the end of the night comes and we are all walking home minus stroppy stag (#3) when I get this text.

Let's call it a day. Lil I'm fed up with you cunning me off every chance you get great I'm know you were bored by any story I told so Fuck it. Doesn't mater for me but annoys you as for 5 seconds you're not centre of attention. Also I know ben will follow whatever you do and stick by your side, even to the point where something that doesn't involve him he pushes me in anger. Great friends. I'll end it now. I'll prob be asleep when you turn up but appreciate it if you leave me to go tomorrow morning. Thanks. Oh yeah and obviously as you've convinced everyone you've done nothing wrong so it's all my fault. Well done that you can arrange it like that

I should point out there are two Bens, one big ben and me little Ben, so I get called Lil a lot.

So I laugh at and it think what a prat and go back to the room. BUT he's not there. Eventually he comes back and get this he packs up his stuff and leaves without a word. He was the driver as well! I don't know where he's gone wether its to another room or home completely but he was in no state to drive so I'm hoping he comes skulking back tail between his legs.
Well that's been the first night, I don't know if anything can top that, then again we are driving tanks later and going to the obligatory strip club. (oh great, BORING) but if anything happens I'll be sure to write about it.
Where did I put those Nurofens?